Dealing with Negativity from Others

28 Apr

I will NOT let other people’s bad attitudes bring me down.
I will NOT let other people’s bad attitudes bring me down.
I WILL NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE’S BAD ATTITUDES BRING ME DOWN.

There, I feel better. At least a little.

Yesterday, a coworker saw me icing my calves. Knowing I’m a runner, he could have said something supportive like, “Oh, I hope you get to feeling better.” or “You’ll be fine!” But no, that would be far too much to ask. Instead, his response was, “Well, maybe if you have to ice your calves, you shouldn’t be running.”

REALLY? C’mon, really? If I quit every time something I tried to do got hard or presented a challenge, I would never do anything!

He then went on to tell me that I better get all this running “out of my system” because I certainly won’t have time for any of that “nonsense” after Baby Key arrives. I then reminded him of all the awesome jogging strollers out there and that I go to PLENTY of races and see plenty of mommas and daddies pushing their bundles of joy all over the place. (Oh, and did I mention that I got passed, yes PASSED, by a dude pushing a TRIPLET stroller at the Crescent City Classic last Saturday??)

He then went on to state that HIS child didn’t like the jogging stroller and that some babies just aren’t having any part of it. My rebuttal to this was that I had talked this over with my super supportive husband and that we agreed that if I wanted needed to run and for whatever reason the stroller didn’t work out, that he would watch Baby Key while I got a few miles in. And, in the event that Mr. Key wanted to join me, we could always find a sitter or relative for a little while.

Negative-Nancy-Coworker-Guy then went on preaching about how he just didn’t agree with dumping your kids off on babysitters all the time and how he and HIS wife would NEVER do that to THEIR son. It just went on and on and on…

Well, to that, I say la-di-da and good for him. It seemed as if he had a negative comment for EVERYTHING I had to say. I am not naive and I am fully aware that in October/November, Baby Key will change our lives tremendously. But just because I’m going to start being a momma, that doesn’t mean I have to stop being all the other things I love being…like a (super awesome) wife and runner.

I know that being active and healthy will be a good example to set for my future son or daughter. But I couldn’t help letting his negative thoughts seep into my head and make me feel at least a little guilty.

Am I being selfish?
Will I be forcing my kid to do something he/she doesn’t want to do?
Will I be “wasting” family time on my running?

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21 Responses to “Dealing with Negativity from Others”

  1. Karen April 28, 2011 at 6:45 PM #

    Katie- don’t you dare listen to Negative Nancy! He is an IDIOT!!! I wasn’t a runner before my 2 girls were born. I started running when they were 1 and 3 and my life was CRAZY at that time. The running actually made my life easier. Jogging strollers are great for many people and if the stroller doesn’t work out your husband or relatives or babysitters can watch your kids while you run. No big deal!

    I trained all last year for my first marathon and on many Sundays I was gone for HOURS. My kids were fine with their dad and now they both want to run with me. They are both proud that their mom runs and have told everyone that I finished a marathon. I’d much rather miss a few hours with them, but be a good role model.

    Welcome to parenthood. You’ll learn to ignore the vast majority of idiotic comments you hear. Do what is right for you and your family. Listen to your heart and you’ll know what is right.

    Good luck!

    • katieRUNSthis April 28, 2011 at 6:48 PM #

      Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed to hear this today. I know that running keeps me out of the house a lot, but its just part of who I am and it keeps me happy and sane. I just couldn’t imagine that ALL parents have to give up EVERY single thing to dote on their children EVERY second of EVERY day.

      • Karen April 28, 2011 at 6:53 PM #

        If you give up everything that you love or that makes you who you are you will be miserable. Then you will not be a good mom. You have to take care of yourself just as much as your new little one.

        I work fulltime and trained for a marathon. My kids are fine! Your little one will be just fine too!

  2. running on faith April 28, 2011 at 6:47 PM #

    wow…what a terrible coworker. As a first time mom to a toddler, all I have to say is yes, you can be a good mom and runner. I will admit that my little one hates the jogging stroller (but that is rare!) but I make time before she gets up or after she sleeps to run! And yes, others may see taking this time out for yourself as selfish, but I think it makes me a better mom and person. Plus, it does set a great example of a healthy lifestyle for your kids!

  3. Katherine April 28, 2011 at 7:18 PM #

    I’m not even a mom, but I can’t tell you how many negative comments I used to get at my old workplace when I was caught icing my shins/ankles/knees at my desk. The time I was in a boot for a stress fracture also sucked, because people would ask nonstop what had happened, then offer their uneducated thoughts on why I should stop running. Much to my chagrin, their wishes came true, and I was unable to run for almost a year (I KNOW). The good news is that I’m surrounded by many other runners/athletes at my new job, and everyone is so supportive of one another.

    Generally, I find that most people who take it upon themselves to criticize and judge athletic people and their efforts are unhealthy and unhappy themselves. If only everyone could be armed with the knowledge and experience we have that running and being active is beyond great, and that being active (despite the occasional injury) helps keep us healthy and sane.

    I really admire the steps you’re taking to stay active and run through your pregnancy, as well as to stand up to people with unwelcome opinions. You are an inspiration, and I can only hope that when my time comes, I will be as dedicated a mom as you!

    • katieRUNSthis April 28, 2011 at 7:51 PM #

      Girl, I KNOW you’ll be active when its your turn to be the baby momma. And you’ll have it even better because you love to swim! Swimming is SO good during pregnancy, especially in the third trimester! I’m trying to find a place now where I can swim and pay per visit, because…TRUST ME, in the heat of September, this body will be wanting a swimming pool!! Ha!

  4. Havetotri April 28, 2011 at 7:42 PM #

    Wow. I take my kids on my training runs at least once a week and they love it. It’s what being an “active” family is all about. My running is already rubbing off on my 4 yr old. She now loves to run “kid” races and asks me when her next race will be. I can’t believe I’m doing “THAT” to my kids. Really, what’s wrong with doing outdoor things together as a family while at the same time promoting a healthy lifestyle and competitiveness? I’d turn his negativity into motivation to run even harder. πŸ™‚

    • katieRUNSthis April 28, 2011 at 7:49 PM #

      Thanks for coming by, HaveToTRI! I completely agree! Being active as a family was not something we did growing up, and it was certainly something I had to learn as an adult. My husband and I are determined to raise our child with thinking that healthy eating and activities are the “norm” and that its just what “we do”. I love that your kids do the kids races! I want my kiddo to be out there doing them too one day!

  5. Kristen April 28, 2011 at 8:48 PM #

    Don’t let the debbie downers get you down. I know that’s easier said than done. Some people just don’t have anything positive to say. I think it’s amazing that you’re still running and I promise you that you will be able to run after the baby is born. Where there’s a will, there’s a way! I had people look at me like I had 3 heads when I said I’d run with my baby after he was born. They thought it would hurt him. People just don’t get it. You rock mama!

  6. Tisha April 28, 2011 at 10:49 PM #

    Once, I tweaked my knee running down a hill and had to wear a brace for a couple of weeks, my mother in law told me all that running wasn’t good for me. Just thought to myself, “Wow, she really thinks that’s true! So sad!”

  7. Daria April 28, 2011 at 11:44 PM #

    Ugh. Smug, sanctimonious parents are really high on my list of pet peeves. I was a runner in college and when I had my first baby not too long after graduation, I couldn’t wait to put him in a jogging stroller and get back in shape. At first, he hated it but then it became a useful tool in calming him and putting him to sleep. I mean, he’d be out for HOURS after a run! It was great. And he was a baby that cried so much, anyone who watched him would be in tears by the end of the night. After baby number two, I was right back to running and working out AND working a full-time job. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband that understands how important running is for me and the overall happiness of our family (cause if Mama ain’t happy…NO ONE is!)Sometimes I think that many parents believe that the hallmark of a “good” parent is how many personal activities they give up and how miserable they are because of it and then like to spread that misery like swine flu.
    Life definitely changes with the addition of a baby, but you get the hang of it and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, really helps in the long run and the day-in, day-put. My kids are 9 and 6 now and they couldn’t care less when I’m out running but this weekend, they get to stay at a hotel with a pool (which they’re excited about) while I’m out running in a marathon. It’s a win-win situation. Lol Mr. Negative Nancy should just mind his own business!
    P.S. I think it’s awesome that you continue to run during your pregnancy.

    • katieRUNSthis May 2, 2011 at 10:00 AM #

      Thank you for such an encouraging response! I really hope that running in a jogging stroller has the same effect on my (soon to be) little one as your little one. HOURS you say? Lucky you! πŸ™‚

      And it is the truth, it momma ain’t happy, ain’t NOBODY happy! πŸ™‚

  8. Errign April 29, 2011 at 1:49 AM #

    Your coworker seems like a d-bag to be honest, but I guess some people have to share their opinions with everyone!

  9. K April 29, 2011 at 6:18 PM #

    What a dope. I am definitely going to be following your blog! We are trying for a baby and I hope to seen be a running mom to be!

    • katieRUNSthis May 2, 2011 at 9:58 AM #

      Good luck! I wish you all the best! We tried for a while but we are certainly excited!! πŸ™‚

  10. Roselyn April 29, 2011 at 7:02 PM #

    OMGOMGOMG I would have punched him! πŸ™‚ But really, there are PLENTY of moms out there who run after the baby, WITH the baby!! I run with my almost 3 year old in the jogger 2-3 times a week and haven’t had any problems (well, except pushing him is a WORKOUT!)…he loves it. And you know what, its NOT selfish to run if running makes you a better wife, mom, friend, person. What is an hour or two to yourself in the big scheme of things anyway? Running is sanity, and as a new mom, you’ll need all the sanity you can get. πŸ˜‰

    Don’t let the naysayers get to you…they’re just jealous. πŸ™‚

  11. Carrie April 29, 2011 at 8:38 PM #

    Oh my, reading your post made me physically angry for you! I don’t that I would have been able to sit there and listen to such stupidity. Why people think that their opinion is the only right answer in life always pisses me off. Trust me when I say – 1. you are NOT being selfish, it will only make you a better mother to believe in yourself and continue doing what makes you happy. 2. you are NOT forcing your kid to do anything. you will make adjustments if your baby is not a jogging stroller baby and 3. you are NOT “wasting” family time on running.

    • katieRUNSthis May 2, 2011 at 9:58 AM #

      Thank you for your kind words. It means so much. I just have to keep reminding myself that being healthy for my family will make me a better mother!

  12. Sarah (A Runner's Heart) May 2, 2011 at 9:53 AM #

    So…I know I’m just reading this, but this makes me angry too! I actually get this same thing…from my mom! I did not grow up around being active (and If you saw me today you can see I’m still in the learning process) but I want my child to grow up in it! I started running only 4 months before I became pregnant and then had to give it up. (I had 2 previous miscarriages and was not taking any chances) I miss it drastically! I cannot wait to get out there with my jogging stroller and start all over! It will be kinda neat! A fresh start as a new mom/runner in training! And I have heard that if you start introducing the baby to the stroller right off the bat, they accept it easier. I know your not supposed to really take them outside before 6 weeks or so (weak immune system), but after that, I will be introducing her to the stroller by walking! I’m sorry you had to listen to that, but don’t take him to heart! “HIS wife” may never introduce a healthy lifestyle to their children, but that doesn’t mean you can’t! You, your husband, and your little one will be better off for it! πŸ™‚ Ok wow…long comment! lol Sorry about that! It just really gets to me! haha πŸ™‚

    • katieRUNSthis May 2, 2011 at 9:57 AM #

      Thank you so much for this comment! I applaud you for choosing to get healthy and active as an adult. I went through this too and I know how difficult it can be! But hey, old dogs CAN learn new tricks! πŸ™‚

      I hope your little one adjusts perfectly to your jogging stroller. Until you can get her outside in it, could you start helping her adjust to the idea by putting her in it for a few minutes at a time while your inside the house? You know, to maybe get used to the feeling of being seated and buckled into it? Just a thought! Good luck! Can’t wait to hear how it goes!!

  13. Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength May 3, 2011 at 2:30 PM #

    Oh girl…I hear you on this. I have been very active for my entire pregnancy (I am almost 36 weeks) and have gotten some negative comments…although lots of positive comments as well! The only time you’re wasting is talking to that dumb dude at your work. I’d just tell him you’re busy next time he wants to converse. πŸ˜‰ You are going to be a great momma and set a great example for your little one!

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